June 14, 2008
A man got on a bus with a banana in his ear and the busdriver said–”Hey buddy, you have a banana in your ear!”
Show Punchline
The man said–”Sorry, I can’t hear you. I have a banana in my ear!”
Posted in Amusing Jokes, clean jokes, cute jokes for kids, funny jokes, hilarious jokes, joke, joke of the day, jokes, jokes for kids, really funny jokes, short funny jokes |
June 2, 2008
All Smiles
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on
their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
“First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to
his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the Coroner.
“Second body: “Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars on the lottery,
spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”
The Inspector asked, “What of the third body?”
“Ah,” says the coroner, “this is the most unusual one.
Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning.”
“Why is he smiling then?” inquires the Inspector.
“Thought he was having his picture taken.”
Posted in clean jokes, free jokes, funny jokes, hilarious jokes, joke, joke of the day, jokes, jokes for kids, really funny jokes, short funny jokes |
May 25, 2008
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam.
“Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever.”
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, “What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”
Posted in Amusing Jokes, Clean Joke, Clever Jokes, Clever Teacher Jokes, College Joke, College Jokes, Cute Jokes, clean jokes, cute Clean Jokes, hilarious jokes, joke of the day, jokes for kids |
May 15, 2008
A blonde, a brunette and a red head are sipping tea and discussing their pregnancies.
The brunette says, “My baby’s going to be a boy.” The blonde asks, “How do you know?” The brunette says, “Because when we did it, my husband was on top.”
The red head then says, “My baby’s going to be a girl.” The blonde asks, “How do you know?” The red head says, “Because when we did it, I was on top.”
The blonde starts crying hysterically. When her friends finally calm her down, they ask her why she was crying. The blonde says, “My baby’s going to be a puppy.”
Posted in Amusing Jokes, Funny Amusing Jokes, clean jokes, funny jokes, hilarious jokes, joke, joke of the day, jokes, really funny jokes, short funny jokes |
May 13, 2008
The other night I dreamed that I had died and gone to Heaven. At the Pearly Gates I was met by Saint Peter who told me if I wanted to enter the gates of Heaven I must climb that ladder one rung at a time. On each rung I must write a sin that I committed during my life while on earth.
He then gave me a piece of chalk. I started, writing, climbing, writing, climbing …. hanging on with one hand and writing with the other - a difficult task for someone who does not like heights.
All of a sudden, something was crushing the fingers of my holding hand. I looked up, and there, much to my amazement was my boss coming down the ladder for more chalk.
Posted in Business Jokes, Cute Joke, Cute Jokes, Office Jokes, clean jokes, cute Clean Jokes, hilarious jokes, joke of the day, office joke, really funny jokes, really funny quick jokes, short funny jokes |
May 12, 2008
A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what’s going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, “Pardon me. May I help you with something.” The blind man says, “No thanks. I’m just looking around.”
Posted in Clean Joke, clean jokes, cute Clean Jokes, funny jokes, hilarious jokes, joke, joke of the day, jokes, jokes for kids, really funny jokes, short funny jokes |
May 9, 2008
A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened…but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs. A riot broke out, and all the invited guests were hauled off to jail.
In court the next week, the judge asked the best man what happened.
“Your honor, we were just dancing, and the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs.”
“That must have hurt,” said the judge.
“No kidding,” said the best man. “I broke three of my fingers.”
Posted in Couple Joke, Couple Jokes, clean jokes, free jokes, funny jokes, hilarious jokes, joke, joke of the day, jokes, jokes for kids, really funny jokes, short funny jokes |
May 8, 2008
A math joke
Teacher: What’s 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That’s good.
Pupil: Good?, that’s perfect!
A history joke
Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder?
He had a bee in his suit of armour!
Posted in College Joke, College Jokes, School Joke, School Jokes, clean jokes, funny jokes, hilarious jokes, joke of the day, jokes for kids, short funny jokes, short jokes |
May 7, 2008
An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels.
Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.
The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.
The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
Posted in Animal Joke, Animal Jokes, Office Jokes, clean jokes, funny jokes, hilarious jokes, joke, joke of the day, jokes, really funny jokes, short funny jokes |
May 6, 2008
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: Glory be unto the Faaaather. . and unto the Soonnn …..and into the hole he gooooes.”
Posted in Cute Joke, Cute Jokes, Kids Jokes, funny jokes, hilarious jokes, joke, joke of the day, jokes, jokes for kids, really funny quick jokes, short funny jokes |
