Archive for the ‘joke of the day’ Category

Classic Funny Office Jokes

August 27, 2008

THE YOUNG BUSINESSMAN

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”

The man said, “Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines.”

School Jokes – Funny Clean Jokes about School – School Daze

August 8, 2008

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist’s son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, “I bet I know what it is. Some flowers.” “

That’s right” the boy said, “but how did you know?”

“Oh, just a wild guess,” she said.

The next pupil was the candy shop owner’s daughter.

The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, “I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets.”

“That’s right, but how did you know?” asked the girl.

cute jokes for kids

June 14, 2008

A man got on a bus with a banana in his ear and the busdriver said–”Hey buddy, you have a banana in your ear!”
Show Punchline

The man said–”Sorry, I can’t hear you. I have a banana in my ear!”

Classic short jokes of 2008

June 2, 2008

All Smiles

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on
their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

“First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to
his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the Coroner.

“Second body: “Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars on the lottery,
spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”

The Inspector asked, “What of the third body?”

“Ah,” says the coroner, “this is the most unusual one.
Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning.”

“Why is he smiling then?” inquires the Inspector.

“Thought he was having his picture taken.”

Clever Teacher Jokes

May 25, 2008

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam.

“Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever.”

A smart ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, “What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”

My Baby – Hilarious Funny Amusing Jokes

May 15, 2008

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are sipping tea and discussing their pregnancies.

The brunette says, “My baby’s going to be a boy.” The blonde asks, “How do you know?” The brunette says, “Because when we did it, my husband was on top.”

The red head then says, “My baby’s going to be a girl.” The blonde asks, “How do you know?” The red head says, “Because when we did it, I was on top.”

The blonde starts crying hysterically. When her friends finally calm her down, they ask her why she was crying. The blonde says, “My baby’s going to be a puppy.”

funniest cute joke of the day – office jokes – Climb the ladder

May 13, 2008

The other night I dreamed that I had died and gone to Heaven. At the Pearly Gates I was met by Saint Peter who told me if I wanted to enter the gates of Heaven I must climb that ladder one rung at a time. On each rung I must write a sin that I committed during my life while on earth.

He then gave me a piece of chalk. I started, writing, climbing, writing, climbing …. hanging on with one hand and writing with the other – a difficult task for someone who does not like heights.
All of a sudden, something was crushing the fingers of my holding hand. I looked up, and there, much to my amazement was my boss coming down the ladder for more chalk.

Clean Joke – Seeing Eye

May 12, 2008

A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what’s going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, “Pardon me. May I help you with something.” The blind man says, “No thanks. I’m just looking around.”

Hilarious Couple Jokes – Wedding Dance

May 9, 2008

A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened…but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs. A riot broke out, and all the invited guests were hauled off to jail.

In court the next week, the judge asked the best man what happened.

“Your honor, we were just dancing, and the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs.”

“That must have hurt,” said the judge.

“No kidding,” said the best man. “I broke three of my fingers.”

Cute School Jokes, College Jokes, Education Humor

May 8, 2008

A math joke
Teacher: What’s 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That’s good.
Pupil: Good?, that’s perfect!

A history joke
Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder?
He had a bee in his suit of armour!

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